The Most Evil Man in America

Ralph Nader, of course. Here’s why: There’s a lot of people running this country or wanting to run this country who don’t agree with me. Some, such as the water wads in charge now have done terrible damage to nature, the people, and out status as the world’s good guys. I don’t see how you can defend the Constitution by destroying it. But those folks were more or less honest when they took over.

George Bush never pretended he was anything but a nightmare when it came to plants, animals, air, and the temperature of the planet. You elect two oil company executives to run the show, you can very well whine when they rig the game for the benefit of themselves. Those old, rich, white, male Republicans have been sitting around their cigar bars and boardrooms for decades, grousing about the federal government and how much money they could make if it got off their backs. We put them in charge of the federal government, and — Surprise! — they did what they said they would do. They changed the rules for their peer group and let all the other peer groups go to pot.

Hell, if you elected two comic novelists President and Vice President — say, me and Chris Moore. I would be Vice and he could be Pres — we’d rig the laws so comic novelists didn’t have to pay taxes, do their own laundry, or answer for adulterous behavior. (There is a precedence, by the way. In Ireland, most people pay 50% of their income in taxes. Poets don’t pay a cent.)

So, while the current Boss Men are scalawags, thieves, and responsible for a whole mess of unnecessary deaths, they aren’t traitors to the Republican Party. They said they were going to eviscerate the American Way and we elected them and they did. No surprises there.

Then comes Ralph Nader — the one, single individual who could have stopped the last eight years from going down the way it did. No one person had the power, except Ralph. For forty-whatever years, Ralph fought on behalf of the American consumer. He built a massive reputation as a good person. He was idolized by young people (girls, especially) who wanted to grow up to make a difference. But, somehow, along the way his ego outgrew his brain. He claims he is running for President because the two political parties are exactly the same.

Here’s a self-evident truth I don’t think even Rush Limbaugh would disagree with: When it comes to the environment, Al Gore and George Bush are not the same. Only an idiot would make that claim.

Ralph hated Al on a personal basis. He was willing to let all those years of doing good go down the tubes out of personal animosity. Every new oilfield in Alaska should be named Nader Field. Every safety rollback of products and services should be called the Nader Rule. Let’s go all the way and let historians call the war in Iraq the Nader War.

If Ralph fixed the 200 election because he hated Al Gore and was willing to cut off his face to spite his nose, as the saying almost goes, why is he out to do it again?
 Got me. Delusions of grandeur, maybe. Or the religious right is blackmailing him. Brain tumor? My career has been spent trying to figure out why people do things that go against their self-interest, and I’m fairly good at it, but Ralph is beyond me.

I know this much to be true: Betrayal is worse than opposition.

I’m certain the candidates have been on pins and needles waiting for the Sandlin endorsement, so here it is. Vote for Obama. Reasons: 1) Hillary has no chance in hell of beating McCain. The Republicans have warehouses full of mud, waiting to be thrown at her. I’ve been told by people who know the top folks in the party — we have a bunch of them here in Teton County — that the Republicans are literally praying for Hillary to get the nomination.

2)  Obama may or may not beat McCain, but he won’t take every Democrat in the West down with him. The Clinton name is so hated in the Rocky Mountain Time Zone that all the progress Democrats have made out here the last few years will go the way of the dodo.

3)  While we’re on the subject of hatred, the last twenty years have seen an explosion of hatred in America. Hatred has become the dominant emotion of public discourse. Our side hates their side and their side hates our side. While roughly 20% of Americans hate whoever is President, just from granfaloonery — the way Oklahoma hates Texas and Duke hates North Carolina — the last twenty years the percentage of hatred has gotten way the hell out of hand. I’m sick and tired of hatred. It’s exhausting the country. It has to stop. And it won’t stop if anyone named Bush or Clinton is ruling the roost.

On a lighter note (I always try to snap my fingers on the upbeat) has anyone noticed that the buffalo on the new nickel has a dick? It’s the only dick I’ve ever seen on money. Check out the nickel with Jefferson all smooshed up on the heads side and a buffalo on the tails. The reason we say nickels have a head side and a tail sideis because the old buffalo nickels had a tail, and the head side is obvious. Now, when people flip for drinks or to decide who kicks off in a football game, we should say, “Heads or dicks?”